Dads Are Not The Problem

I completed high school this week, and throughout my home school journey one of the most prominent and important things I learned was to always stand up for truth, no matter what it costs you in the long run. This past weekend I attended the Richmond Homeschool Prom along with over 500 other home schooled students across Central Virginia. Recently, there has been a massive frenzy about a girl being kicked out over suggestive dancing and inappropriate attire, so much so that even national media sources like Cosmopolitan Magazine have picked up on the story. I am writing this not to stir up further arguments but to share truth on what actually happened at prom.

I happen to know the girl who was kicked out. She joined my volleyball team last fall, she ended up being in my American History class this semester, and she also happens to be graduating with me in just a few short weeks. In history, our class covered material from the Civil War to World War II. During the section on the Gilded Age, we learned about something called yellow journalism. Let me define it.

 Yellow Journalism is the type of journalism that relies on sensationalism and lurid exaggeration to attract readers. There is a word in that definition that I would also like to define. Sensationalism is the use of sensational language to arouse an intense emotional response.

 Everything that has been said about Clare and the Richmond Homeschool Prom has been yellow journalism and nothing short of sensationalizing. Her entire story is full of lies and slander. I have been to many homeschool proms and the Richmond Homeschool Prom is most definitely the least conservative one I have attended. The dress code for ladies merely required that dresses be fingertip length. I personally don’t recall seeing girls with dresses violating the requirements (which are the exact same as the local high schools). Clare even approached me and showed me that her dress adhered – yes, it was edgy and as close as she could get to breaking it, but yes it was fingertip length. She writes in her blog post,

“I assumed that she (a prom coordinator) probably just didn’t understand that when you’re 5’9″ and leggy, everything looks shorter on you then it would on anyone else, even if it’s still inside the dress code.”

I can whole-heartedly agree with that statement, as I have long legs myself and have had to refrain from wearing certain things because they appear more immodest than they would on a girl with shorter legs. It is an honest struggle. In the end, her dress was close enough to breaking the dress code that it was checked. Clare talks about how she isn’t responsible for other people’s thought or drives, but she admits in her blog post that she looked hot and would turn heads when walking through a door. Emily Collins, a lady chaperoning, states that Clare’s dress only met dress code when it was pulled down, but as she walked, the dress rose. Clare was seen by multiple sources (students) to be dancing provacatively and as she moved her dress rose. When she was approached and asked to pull it down by female chaperones, Clare responded with extreme disrespect towards the authorities, at which point she was asked to leave. Not one person ever mentioned anything about impure thoughts, she was removed from the dance because her behavior was not in line with the set rules.

I find the most disturbing part of this situation to be the accusations against the dads. The Richmond Homeschool Prom is held in a large church gym. In that gym, there is a balcony that runs the length of the room. When I walked in, I did notice that there were parents standing up there. But they were chaperoning, just the same as the parents on the floor. Yes, there were dads up there, all of whom were on rotation manning the lights and ensuring that prom ran smoothly. Clare writes,

“We were also a little grossed out by all the dads on the balcony above the dance floor, ogling and talking amongst themselves,” Headlines are saying things like, “Teen Girl Ejected From Prom Because Horny Dads Can’t Stop Staring,” or “Girl Kicked Out Of Prom Because Dads Found Her Too Sexy.”

Honestly, if I had not been at prom and Clare’s description were all I had to go on, my interpretation would be that there were fathers lined up around the balcony just to observe and eye the girls. It makes it sound totally inappropriate and disgusting! But I was there, and the dads were not talking amongst themselves about the girls dancing and they were certainly not ogling. They were only doing the jobs they had selflessly volunteered for so that the homeschool community could enjoy prom. They were up there to work the lights and fix strand of lights that had gone out. Homeschool dads are incredibly protective over their daughters and go to great lengths to ensure they are treated well and typically very loving towards children that are not their own. Homeschool dads may be just about the least creepy men there are. I would also like to briefly address the misconception that, as homeschool parents, they are required to put on prom. Prom is not a right owed to us, it is a privilege. As homeschoolers we often lose chances to participate in activities that students at public a private school enjoy, such as prom and sports teams. Our opportunity to attend prom comes directly from the parents that choose to invest their time and money so we can enjoy a special event. 

But when did this become about perverted dads? The news reports manipulate the story to make it seem like sex-minded men singled Clare out and couldn’t control their thoughts when in reality, not one man made mention about Clare’s attire or behavior, only women in authority. Women use clothing and actions to attract men all the time, but as Christians and really just as moral people, ladies have a duty to dress in a way that earns respect and doesn’t tempt men. Everyone (not just men) have a duty to guard our thoughts from things that aren’t healthy, but men shouldn’t make it harder for women and women shouldn’t make it harder for men. The Richmond Homeschool Prom was meant to be a wholesome night and when Clare was approached (by women) for what they deemed inappropriate, she got mad and acted in a childish and disrespectful manner towards the adults in authority. It was only then that she was asked to leave.

Everyone can safely assume that a homeschool prom is going to be more conservative than a public school prom. Most people who homeschool do so because they want a more conservative environment for their children. Of course there are going to be more rules and regulations, yet many of the rules are identical to the rules enforced at public school proms. If a student is found in violation of any rule, he or she is removed without refund. More than one person (including myself) saw her dancing suggestively, which were grounds for removal. There has also been a lot of controversy about her being the only one to get kicked out, when in reality there were eight others who asked to leave as well. I find it sad that all of the stories about Clare’s experience are one sided and selectively choose which facts to report to gain more attention. I look forward to a day when yellow journalism and sensationalism isn’t an issue, but as I’m learning in history class – this isn’t the first time and it will not be the last.


122 thoughts on “Dads Are Not The Problem

  1. Not being there, I can’t say for sure what happened, but I’ve been at enough events where my modesty had been admonished because of the need to protect the men in the room. It’s not fair to put that pressure on women. As a Christian sister, I kindly ask you to think consider that when you get beyond high school to an age and station in life where you’re able to see the implications of having your body treated as a sex object – a sex object that is simultaneously impossible to resist, yet impossibly impure, the results are not pretty. And if the dads aren’t to blame, then you’re blaming the girls. We’re only responsible for our sin, no one else’s.

    • So if the dads aren’t to blame and the girls aren’t to blame than who is? You’re right that we’re responsible for our own sin but we are also responsible if that sin affects others and causes them to sin. You can’t go through life excusing yourself from from initiating a reaction from another person whether it be your words, your actions, or your clothes. If you are dressing provocatively the only person to blame is yourself. Let’s all be honest here, the only reason to dress provocatively is to feel good and gain attention. Not inherent sins in themselves but when you are causing another man to look at you in lust then it becomes your sin as well as his. As a Christian you can’t deny that the New Testament has very pointed things to say about dressing modestly and causing men to stumble. If you have a view that is different that is fine, but don’t say that it is your Christian view because it can’t be if you are taking the Bible at it’s word. I’m tired of Christians passing off their own views as right when the Bible states the exact opposite. As you get to an “age” as you call it you realize that most issues are a huge game of blame shifting and both parties need to take responsibility. Let’s be honest, Clare knew what she was causing by just barely getting in with her short dress. I’m a tall person and I laugh that she thinks it’s impossible to find a dress that doesn’t come further than fingertip length. What it comes down to is the right for the organizers of the prom to do what they need to do and it is Clare’s responsibility (if she is a Christian) to know what the Bible says about modesty and adhere to it graciously if she is going to an event where she knows it will be an issue. If she doesn’t like it, Tiki Bobs cantina is like prom every Saturday night and they will welcome her with open arms.

      • so you know that one rape incident in India that stood out among the others a couple years back? where the rapers said they raped the girl because she was dressed ‘provocatively’? she was wearing something more conservative than an average american girl would wear. so if you really think girls should be responsible for wearing ‘appropriate’ clothings so not to cause men to sin…you might have problems doing that when men who have dirty thoughts all the time is ‘provoked’ anyways, regardless of what the girls are wearing. in your theory, all victims in the rape incidents should be blamed because they caused others to sin. i wonder how many people agree to that.

      • First of all, nobody was raped at prom. I don’t believe that any rape victim ever provokes her rapist’s actions. This story has literally nothing to do with rape though, so I would appreciate if the irrelevant comments would be left out. That being said, is it my brother’s fault if I feel like I want to punch him in the face? No, it probably has to do with some anger issue I’m dealing with. But he probably did something to make me feel SOMETHING towards him, right?. But it still goes back to me being able to control my own actions in the heat of a moment. But if he knows that I have a problem with anger and violence, should he try his hardest to help me out and not constantly throw fuel on the fire, or should he be as obnoxious as he pleases and have no thoughts towards helping me not struggle? Which is right? I believe it’s right to help a brother out..

    • As a Christian – not as a man, but as a Christian – I admonish you to read what your Bible says about modesty and take it into consideration. Furthermore, read what the Bible says about being a stumbling block to other people. If I drink in front of an alcoholic and it makes him stumble in sin, I am as responsible for pushing him there as he is for going there. That’s called being a considerate human being. It’s not “unfair,” it’s called denying yourself for the good of another person, and it’s something this generation has been brutally unaware of. It is not “fair’ to be able to dress how you want, it is selfish.

      Next prom, I’ll be there. I’ll be dressed to the nines in my tuxedo. And I’ll be pelvic-thrusting a lamp on the floor while grabbing my unmentionables to the beat of the music.

      And when I get kicked out for lewd and sexually explicit dancing, I’ll take it to the news as an example of how the Matriarchy is vilifying men in tuxedos.

      • I thought this was a prom for homeschooled kids. Was it that or was it a church function. If it was a church function your comments make sense but if it was a function for all homeschooled kids then keep your christian religion out of it. They did not come there to get preached to.

      • 1) Most homeschoolers are Christian.
        This is not comprehensive, I understand that. It just so happens that the people who run the event and make the rules (the people hosting this private event, who get to make and enforce the rules) are Christians, hold to a Christian ethic and made that Christian ethic very clear in the “dos” and “do nots” of prom. I am since graduated and in college, but I went to this prom three times, twice as a highschooler and once as an alumni. The standard was, and is, always made very clear.

        2) Your understanding of how private events work is severely flawed. Please, understand that any time you pay to partake in something someone else has planned, you give up some of your rights to partake in that event according to the rules they set up. If you disobey those rules, as Clare did and quite grievously as I understand it (as always, not pertaining to the dress, but to the highly sexual dancing), your right to partake in said event is revoked, as it was for Clare. There simply isn’t an argument to be made which justifies Clare’s actions, both on the dance floor and in taking this story to the local (and, now, national) news with falsified information and very deceptive language. She is clearly crying out for attention, and she’s getting it. Unfortunately, some of that attention is people thinking she acted like an ignorant whore. I’m sure that was not her intended reaction, nor the attention she desired when she took this story to the news, but once you learn the facts of what happened, you see less and less of a victimized young girl who missed out on her senior prom because some mean pedophilic old man decided her dress was causing him to stumble, and more of a bratty teenager who thinks she can do what she wants and get away with it in the name of feminism and victimization at the hands of the “patriarchy.”

        This was petty. This was stupid. Clare was acting inappropriately, and they put an end to it and I am very proud of the leaders of this prom for shutting her down and kicking her to the curb. I hope it keeps happening, because – if I’m honest – Clare’s temper tantrum is more amusing to me than it is anything else. My only despair in this whole thing is that the Richmond Homeschool culture was made out to be a bunch of creepy pedophilic men and femini-phobic women who are out to get young 17 year old women with inflated views of themselves and the dance moves more similar to a Paper Moon escort than a 17 year old homeschooler.

      • I was told once how sexy I looked in my sports attire which consists of a t-shirt (NOT cut off, but a whole t-shirt) and athletic shorts (think soccer-length). Should I run in only sweats, then?

      • Nope. There are always going to be crappy guys out there. Blatantly exposing yourself to gain attention sure isn’t the answer though (especially not if you’re going to complain about the negative attention you get from dressing [or, should I say, not dressing] that way). Thanks for the fallacious appeal to extremes though!

      • The comparison with alcoholic people is ridiculous. It diminishes the condition of straight male to that of sick people with little or no control over their impulses, and it diminishes the condition of women to that of sex objects, depending on male approval. The idea that all that makes men feel uncomfortable or aroused should be removed from their sight as opposed to having them behave and control their impulses is disgusting. And the notion that women go around with the sole idea of “tempting” men along the way in their head is stupid.

      • No one said women intend to tempt men. No one said men shouldn’t control their impulses. I’m not advocating for men to rape women should they be tempted by a woman’s dress. I’m advocating both for men to control themselves (I’ve never raped anyone despite having been “tempted” (not to rape, but to lust after a woman) by her clothing) and for women to make our jobs slightly easier, not by wearing trash bags or burqas, but by simply covering up to a reasonable degree (I’m all for tasteful and cute dresses etc. I’ve stated before that I felt Clare’s dress was relatively tasteful, and that I never took issue with her dress. It’s the dancing that I, and the hosts at prom, take/took issue with). Being considerate humans works both ways. I don’t rape women, cat call women, or objectify women who choose to dress scantly. I appreciate women who do not choose to dress scantly because it makes my job of not objectifying them significantly easier. I’ll do my absolute best to never objectify a woman regardless of what she’s wearing, but you can’t for a second tell me that a woman wearing lingerie isn’t easier to objectify than a woman wearing a tasteful dress. Even a tasteful dress that shows some cleavage is fine in my book. I’m not afraid of the human body – I love it and I think it’s beautiful. I just think that, to a certain extent, it is reasonable to expect people to be aware of the way they dress and the way it effects other people. Don’t play the extremes game and say that men should “control their impulses” like every man talking about modesty is just barely restraining themselves from raping every girl with a cute dress on. That’s absurd.

    • Rebekah, I also share your reluctance to use the “causing others to sin”, but keep in mind that Romans 14 does specifically say exactly that can occur when we do certain things, no?

      The method is hinted at in Leviticus 18–read it in the KJV or NKJV or other “word for word” translation–where the euphemism for “have sex” is “uncover nakedness.” In other words, when we uncover our nakedness (say the breast area of a woman and the hip area of either sex), we are signaling our availability for a sexual relationship–whether or not that is Biblically permissible.

      Our culture understands things about the same way–witness (or better, don’t witness) how many women in entertainment are seen in ever-smaller dresses with the bodice and hem lines causing the whole thing to resemble a belt. It gets attention–but that said, you won’t see that among entertainers whose careers last decades, by and large. It lasts only as long as the wrinkles stay away.

      In the same way, it’s worth noting that real beauty starts with eye contact, a smile, good posture, and the basic good health needed to maintain these. No man worth marrying needs to see your bodice line plunge in order to figure out you’re attractive–in fact, dropping the bodice line tends to prevent him from seeing your overall beauty because it draws attention to one area.

      Maybe consider this a blessing–you don’t need to rock that minidress in order to get good attention–rather than a burden? Food for thought, no?

    • Everyone likes to assign blame but that’s not necessary. Clare actions whether it was her selection of dress or inappropriate dancing resulted in chaperones male or female doesn’t matter to ask her to leave the prom. End of story. I appreciate someone stepping up and offering another point of view on the situation. I don’t know why this is a news story at all let alone a national item.

    • I think it’s really more about the rules set up for this particular event. I don’t disagree with you, but I don’t think you can blame the adults who were there chaperoning. I feel what you are addressing is the bigger issue. In this instance I feel like she may have broken the rules. Period.

    • She just stated that there was no issue with the Dads and the girl and the ones that made the statement were women. And personally I don’t want to see anyones boobs, butt, or otherwise scandelous attire, on men or women. As christians we are called to be modest. ALL of us! And to address your last statement, “We’re only responsible for our sin, no one else’s.” Incorrect. The bible tells us that it is better for us to be thrown into the sea with a bolder around our neck rather than cause another to stumble.

  2. It wasn’t about the dress. The dress was a scapegoat. The real problem was the color of her date’s skin. Open your eyes. Just because someone is an adult, it does not mean they’re implicitly right, nor are they implicitly in authority. Some adults are absolutely more juvenile than you, or Clare, or anyone else at that dance. Then again, they may just be outright racist pigs. It’s probably not a good idea to go around making excuses for racists. Unless you happen to be one too.

    Next time, try being a little more objective when reporting. Yellow journalism is a matter of perspective. You thought the story was about the dads ogling Clare, or Clare’s dress, or some feature about Clare. It’s not. It’s _all_ about the color of Clare’s date’s skin.

    • As someone who knows that couple and most of the people who were at and involved in home school prom, the color of his skin had nothing to do with anything. He is a very respectable and good guy. But where I have seen Class over the last few years, parents are becoming weary of her possible bad influence on their own children. If there were any undiscussed reasons for why she may have been more thoroughly examined for dress code, it was probably to try to prevent unwanted behavior in a very conservative, privately run prom. Callie did an excellent job in this article. I have studied journalism and have worked as an editor for a couple of years and I see nothing wrong with this article. I absolutely hate seeing homeschooling portrayed in this way. While I have previously considered Claire a friend of mine, it is hard to show love for her when she is undermining such a wonderful group of people and educators.

    • I was at the homeschool prom, and to say the girl was kicked out because of her date is just ridiculous. There was a huge mix of races at the dance, and no one had any problem with that. By calling the chaperones racist, when the only reason you’re making that claim is because the kicked out a white girl, doesn’t make any sense. Any situation people can turn it to make others look racist, when they’re actually treating everyone equally. So who’s the real racist? The person who treats people the same and just so happens to have to confront a person from a different race or the person who just doesn’t confront the person because theyre from a different race?

    • I was not going to make any comment but I strongly felt a need to address your ignorant. I can not believe you are pulling a race card here. You are obviously very very ignorant of the homeschool community. This is a group that loves and support one another irrespective of of your race, ethnicity, or social background. I am a true African-American and my son was at this prom with a beautiful young Caucasian lady. He was not kicked out. Please let us focus on what the problem is and stop whining about what it is not. It boils down obeying the rules and respecting authority no matter what. Thank you, Callie, for shedding a light on the truth of the matter. God bless you.

    • I’m 100% sure it has nothing to do with race, and I’ll explain why. I’ll also do this without giving my personal opinion on the issue (the completely non-racial issue) and without taking a side as to who is right and who is wrong. I’m going to assume that you don’t actually know anything about them or the community other than what has been said on blog posts about this story, and it really is baffling how people immediately pulled the race card as soon as they saw one picture. There is no possible LOGICAL way you can flat-out state as gospel, “The real problem was the color of her date’s skin…You thought the story was about the dads ogling Clare, or Clare’s dress, or some feature about Clare. It’s not. It’s all about the color of Clare’s date’s skin.” You say that as if it’s an undeniable fact, but that argument can’t be logically supported because literally the only thing you have to go on in that area is one single picture. That’s it. There’s quite simply no logical way to validate that argument because literally nothing at all supports it. Aside from one quote by her date where he shuts down the race issue, nobody actually involved in the overall issue has said anything at all about race. They are clearly very strong-willed and outspoken people, and I would say that’s a good thing for anyone to be. With that in mind, I guarantee that if there was any inkling in their minds that race was even a little part of this issue, they would be greatly emphasizing it. But they’re not. Because race has nothing to do with this and they know that. The first reason below is straight from her date himself, the other reasons are mostly just from my personal observance and things I’ve heard personally or seen on Facebook from people who were there.

      – First and foremost, Clare’s date himself said it’s not a race issue. In the update to the story on Clare’s sister’s blog, her date, James, says, “I don’t feel race played a part in all that happened Saturday night. I strongly believe they did not know we were together until the situation had already escalated.”

      – Second, there was a good number of other black people there (I personally know a few of them) and, from what I’ve heard from someone who was there (who is totally on Clare’s side in all this), there was at least one other interracial couple. I don’t know if that’s true, but even if Clare and James were the only interracial couple, that’s irrelevant to the issue of Clare being kicked out.

      – Third, when it comes to the Richmond homeschool community, I believe James and his family are relatively well-known and, from everything I’ve heard and seen, respected. James and his siblings have been involved in homeschool theater, homeschool sports, and the biggest homeschool co-op in Richmond for several years. His father has coached homeschool sports teams, and I’ve personally seen people in the community, both students and parents, commend his father for being a great coach and leader to the athletes. That to say, his family is known and immersed in various homeschool activities in the community and have been for years. A lot of people there, including some people in charge and chaperones, probably knew James and/or members of his family and at the very least recognized him. It seems like some people are trying to make it sound like as soon as Clare and James walked in, people in charge went, “Oh no, that girl brought a random black guy, we have to make her leave.”

      Fourth, and this is something that is completely overlooked or flat-out lied about (by the many subsequent blogs/articles, not the original post itself). James was not kicked out of prom. Clare was. Their group of friends was not kicked out of prom. Clare was. So the black date was the whole problem, but the black date wasn’t kicked out or even so much as spoken to in a disciplinary manner like Clare was? Another thing that is widely overlooked that Ms. Hobbs referred to in this blog is that a total of 9 people were kicked out of that prom. That number does not include James or any of James and Clare’s friends that went with them, because James and their friends were not kicked out. James left with his date, understandably, and their friends went seemingly because they were left without a ride if Clare and James left. Clare’s original post does in fact say that, though the plethora of online stories about it basically just state that “they kicked Clare, her date, and their group of friends out of the event.” As for the 9 total people kicked out, this is contrary to what Clare stated in her original post. I assume that she was simply unaware that she wasn’t the only one kicked out as she first stated, because I do honestly think she would not just make that statement up if she had actually known that other people were kicked out as well.

      All that to say, there is literally zero indication, support, or validation to the claim that race was a part of this, and I’ve never used the word “literally” as…well, as literally as I just did. There’s just none. At all. Anywhere.

      To Ms. Hobbs, I apologize if this post went way too long and comes across as spam. I won’t be offended if it’s deleted; I just wanted to refute the race claim and apparently I wrote a small essay.

    • Her date, my friend, said himself that there was no racial motives involved. You’re a fool to believe that. You should be ashamed of yourself.

    • At the Richmond Homeschool Prom there were many biracial couples in attendance. If you watched the CBS6 interview last night, you would have seen that her boyfriend James stated race was not an issue. The adults running this event were in authority – it was their event! Ironically, nobody is speaking about race except for you.. Yellow journalism is not a matter of perspective. Yellow journalism is only telling one, biased side of the story. Clare’s story has turned out to be entirely lies, but the issue was definitely not the color of James’ skin.

  3. I like that we’re getting another look on how everything happened, and I agree that a lot of articles exploit sensationalism too much.

    However, the “ladies have a duty to dress in a way that earns respect and doesn’t tempt men” line is really unfair. Men should know how to behave, even if society seems to hold them unaccountable for their actions because “their sex drive is too strong”. They should know better, they should do better.

    • Sophie —

      Speaking as a guy here, it’s a two-way street. Miss Hobbs is obviously a mature and responsible young lady who is conscious of the fact that no person is an island unto him- or herself. While we are ultimately responsible for our own thoughts and actions, it is only when I’m self-absorbed that I make the case that what I do doesn’t impact anyone else.

      Yes, as Miss Hobbs has said, it is true that ladies who are genuinely concerned about not causing men to stumble should be mindful of others when deciding how to dress, it is also true that I as a man need to be genuinely concerned about how I dress, act, and present myself around others as well.

      Stepping away from the more sensitive issue about clothing for a moment, I want to share a personal example that gets to the same point, but from a different angle. I regularly enjoy having a beer after work, or ordering a drink with dinner when I dine with friends. However, I have a good friend who has in the past and still struggles with alcoholism. (Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic, as I’ve heard someone put it once.) And so, when visiting with him, I wouldn’t dare think of having a beer in front of him — not because I don’t have a “right” to, or because it wouldn’t taste good, but frankly, because I wouldn’t enjoy my beer if I was drinking it in front of someone who I know has a tendency to struggle with alcohol. To do so would be silly, stupid, self-absorbed, and a host of other adjectives I could think of using.

      Now, someone who is ignorant of alcoholism might think that I am foolish to take some level of responsibility onto myself for my choices when visiting with my friend. “You should be able to drink anything you want,” they might say. “Only he is responsible for his thoughts and actions.” But, as someone who comes from a family that has had a history of alcoholism, I know that it is not as easy as choosing whether to drink or not. There is more to it than that. It is a chemical addition to a substance that inclines a person to abuse it.

      But, when Miss Hobbs attempts to address the issue of sexual attraction — which is a natural part of human genetics, by the way — people choose to handle things totally differently. This is sad, because this level of self-absorption does nothing but ultimately hurt other people.

      • Conflating alcohol consumption (an action) with possessing a female body (an intrinsic part of self) is pretty ridiculous. Not to mention it robs men of agency.

        If you think it’s the mode of dress, I’d love to know what level properly rebuffs these ravenous males. Is it a burqa?

      • I agree that we are not islands, and our actions affect other people. However, you’re comparing someone struggling with addiction with (supposedly) normal, healthy, average men. Besides, in this example, you’re a friend of the person you’re trying to help out, you know their struggle, you want to help them.

        Should all women dress always covered up because a man might be too tempted, because… he’s a man with sexual desires? No. Why should that responsibility fall on women? Are men totally helpless in this regard? Totally consumed by their lust they can’t make a rational decision?

        You point out that as someone with knowledge of the struggle of alcoholism, you’re considerate to the ones suffering from it, and that’s great, but you’re implying it’s equal to the concept that ‘women should be aware that their bodies tempt men too strongly’ (like the addiction to alcohol), and hence women should go out of their way to prevent presenting any possible temptation to men.

        The only way this example could apply is if you’d be meeting someone who is a sex addict and you showed up to meet them half naked. Because them too, would be suffering from an addiction and you’d be putting the object of their obsession, their addiction, in front of them. But that isn’t the case for what it is discussed in this article or the one it alludes to. Or the way society mostly treats the issue in regular circumstances, for that matter.

        Most men and women experience sexual attraction, that we can absolutely agree on. But as you say, we are responsible for our thoughts and actions. The fact that someone has a revealing outfit doesn’t mean someone sexually attracted to them isn’t accountable for their actions, because “lust” is not an excuse.

  4. As everyone admits, her dress was checked at the door and it met the dress code. That should have been the end of the story. To later throw her out after allowing her in is called “Yellow Parenting”. I see truth in what Clare wrote, and little truth in what you wrote. And yes, the school and parents deserve all the criticism they are getting–they bought it upon themselves. Grow up and deal with it.

    • Sounds like she wasn’t thrown out because of the dress, but because she was dancing like a whore. SHE brought it upon HERSELF. Not the other way around.

    • As I have read it, the issue was not the dress – you’re correct. It was checked and met standards at the door. As I understand it, she was thrown out for dancing provocatively and suggestively. Something that many people have been kicked out of many proms for before. It would do all who read this story to read it with objective minds. I went to this prom two years ago as an Alumni, and three years ago as a senior. I now live in Cincinnati, Ohio where I go to college. I am two years removed from this event, and there is no doubt in my mind that this Clare person was asked to leave based on her dancing, not upon her dress. I have seen people at this prom dressed way further over the line than Clare (I saw the pictures of her dress and found it reasonably tasteful), and they have not been kicked out for their dress.

      I will repeat, I don’t believe the issue was the dress. The dress sounds like a red-herring which has been thrown in the face of the media and those who are viewing this from a second-hand (actually, third-hand if your information comes from the NBC report, as mine originally did) viewpoint in order to cover up the “real” reason she was ejected from prom. With 8 others being ejected for similar behavior, my advice to Clare would be, “grow up and deal with it.”

  5. Thank you Callie for your comments. It helps. The nbc 12 new caster Mrs. jagolais said Have you reach out to her. “Id love to speak to her 804-439-2453″
    And unfortunately, since I was sent this at 11:16 and I went on air at 11:07, there’s very little I can do right now but perhaps tomorrow we can speak to get her story.

  6. Being immodest is as much a sin as impure thoughts. The Bible says that if your brother or sister in Christ doesn’t feel free to do a certain thing (in the specific example mentioned, I believe it is consuming food sacrificed to false gods), you shouldn’t blatantly participate in that act, at least in their presence.

    If you are dressed immodestly, with the intention to “look hot” and “turn heads,” as the girl in question admitted she was, she shouldn’t be surprised that she “turned heads” and incited lust in boys and men alike. The girl never specifically says that the dads asked the coordinators to remove her for this; instead, she makes several snide, snotty, and teenage – appropriate comments about old men. I’m never a believer in blaming the victim in a sexual assault or discrimination case, but this is not one of those situations. One girl – as well as 9 other students for other reasons – was asked to leave because they thought her behavior combined with her dress was inappropriate. Perhaps the rule should have been 2 inches above the knee, like it was when I went to private school; that would eliminate the problem of this girl being so “leggy”.

    Personally, I believe the girl who wrote this post is a bit more credible; she is far more composed and isn’t throwing profanity around in half of her sentences. This was a function at a CHURCH, of all places, not a public school. If she wanted to look hot and turn heads, perhaps she should have scored a ticket or an invite to a public school prom, instead.

  7. As someone who was there, Clare’s very coy version of this story is less than accurate. I view it as an attempt to manipulate the truth and cast shadows where they never existed. The reason she was asked to leave is her provacative and suggestive dancing, completely inappropriate (unless of, of course, you’re a stripper) for a teen and a prom. When one chooses to rub their breasts, crotch, upper thighs and rear end as if she’s having sex on the dance floor, she has to accept the consequences. She can express her rights and freedom all she wants; she shouldn’t be surprised when people view her as a young tramp and she’s asked to go elsewhere. Her parents have quite a bit more homeschooling to do or this teen is headed for a tough ride. If people have a less than respectful opinion of her, it’s no ones fault other than her own.

    She was spoken to and warned about her behavior yet, she chose to ignore authority; I applaud the chaperones for doing the right thing.

  8. amused2000- I believe you’re jumping to conclusions. I’m white and my wife is black. My children are bi-racial. I, nor my wife and children have been exposed racism in the home school community. I noticed at my kids ballroom dancing nobody has taken an issue with either my kids or a child of any other race dancing with a white partner. Not to mention that there were other interracial couples at the prom. Please don’t make race an issue.

  9. I was personally at this prom and saw it all happen. I do admit that her dress wasn’t extremely scandalous, but at the point of questionable, the real problem was the dancing. The provocative dancing exhibited by Clare was over the top and against the guidelines set forth in the prom rules and regulations. Using the judgement given to them, the chaperones asked her politely to either stop the provocative dancing, or leave, and since the group of them acted immaturely, they were asked to leave. One thing that Clare was quoted saying that truly made no sense was that “I’m not responsible for some perverted 45-year-old dad lusting after me because I have a sparkly dress on”. First of all, since I attended this prom, I was able to see these so called “horny dad’s” and they were in no way anything as Clare said. These dad’s were homeschool dad’s, and if you know anything about homeschool dad’s, they would rather die then have their daughters date or act immodestly, so how would they act an event where they are trusted to chaperone? These claims are borderline yearns for attention from Clare and her group.

    • Wow, you really don’t get it, do you? Sure, HS dads are all concerned about their OWN daughter’s purity and virginity and modesty and so forth, but that hardly means that they won’t ogle someone else’s daughter in her short, sparkly dress!

      • Your low view of men saddens me. I am very involved, up to date, and clued in on men who “ogle” young girls. I find it disgusting and sad and am very interested in being aware and being as active as I can about this issue. I’m afraid you don’t get it. The dads at this prom were not careless teachers, they were not paid. They were dads who gave their time to man the lights. Clare’s claims against them are false. It was actually female chaperones who came to the conclusion about her dress, not men. And they came to this conclusion not because they were jealous, or worried about “impure thoughts” (Clare’s allegations once again), but because she broke the rules. Simple as that.

  10. My biggest problem with this whole thing is how it paints homeschoolers. As a homeschooling parent, it paints us all with the same brush, making our choices as parents more difficult. It saddens me that this has hit the news, and I hope that Clare can find a less conservative group. Most homeschoolers I know, homeschool because the way the school system works, is flawed, not because we desire a more conservative life view.

  11. In one of the best sermons I’ve heard, the pastor was talking about how he didn’t want to go to the beach because he was going to see half naked women. But then he realized, God gave him that beautiful ocean to enjoy, and he gave him a beautiful wife. The solution was not to avoid the beach, but to pray to be clothed in Christ. He prayed for a few days before the planned trip and he had an amazing time. The parallel here is, encourage our men to be clothed in Christ instead of beating our women into being covered in 18 layers of dowdy clothing!

    When I say that when you get to “an age and station in life,” I mean that this kind of purity culture where women are made to feel guilty for being pretty will impact your marriage. The unnatural body phobia and fear of your God-given sexuality is not healthy.

    I have 18 years of Conservative homeschooling under my belt so I’ve heard all of this “protect our men” teaching for years. I was always “appropriately dressed,” – whatever that means – so as to not cause anyone to stumble. And you know what? It didn’t work, because I was still cute. The things Clare said honestly sound like the wounded rant of someone who realized that.

    There’s so much nastiness and -shaming being tossed around on this blog I feel like we’re in a mean girls movie.

    • In essence, “Women, do whatever the hell you want! Dress sexually! Dance sexually! Men, stop being sexual creatures and stop responding naturally to sexual way women dress and dance sexually.”

      Also – your pastor friend is a great example to men! Absolutely, we should clothe ourselves in Christ. And while we are clothing ourselves in Christ, women should take care to appropriately clothe themselves as well. In clothing. Here’s the funny part of what you said. Your pastor says, “The solution is not to avoid the beach, but to pray to be clothed in Christ.” You “paralleled” that to mean, “encourage men to be clothed in Christ **INSTEAD OF**” encouraging women to dress “appropriately.” That is not a parallel, my friend. That is you inserting your own opinion into what your Pastor said. The direct parallel would be, “Don’t avoid going to prom, pray that your eyes would be shielded from people dressing inappropriately at prom.” THAT, is the parallel. THAT leaves room for women to dress in such a way that a man would not NEED to shield his eyes from people dressing inappropriately. In a perfect world, men would be prepared to shield themselves, and women would be considerate to men and give them no reason to have to shield themselves.

      In your world, men should be selfless (I don’t disagree) and shield their eyes, and women should be selfish harlots who expect no consequence for their harlotry. That’s a funny world you live in, and it looks more like reverse-sexism than it looks like sexual equality to me.

      • Perhaps men should stop trying to control women’s bodies and start controlling their minds. Yes, women should do whatever the hell they want, just as men do, and they should be safe from men while they do it because men should be able to control themselves. If the way a woman dresses, or walks, or moves is going to cause you to lose control of yourself then the woman isn’t to blame — you are.

        By the way, religious modesty standards are arbitrary and culturally driven. A mature man wouldn’t care if it was a room full of naked teens dancing on poles because a mature man controls himself — he doesn’t expect a woman to change herself to make his life easier.

      • Fair enough. I’ll do whatever the hell I want, just like a woman should do whatever the hell they want. So rape, murder, incest, and beasteality are all within the realm of reason. Also, cat calling, groping etc are all within the realm of possibilities, because what the hell I can do what I want and being considerate of other people is bull.

        Women should be able to control themselves. Don’t get upset when men rape women. They should be able to defend themselves.

        Really? Is that your argument?

        The way a woman dresses, walks or moves is never going to make me lose control of myself, because I AM in control of myself. But that’s not the issue here. The issue is that, perhaps, I don’t want to see trashily dressed women dancing like sluts on the dance floor. And before you tell me, “then don’t go to prom,” I’ll reply with, “that’s bull crap.” The rules are established for a reason, perhaps people should pay respect to the authorities instead of having this “I’ll do whatever I want attitude” that this generation insists on adopting. Never before have I seen people so dogmatically argue for such selfish things.

  12. It also seems like there’s a misconception that looking hot is a sin, and that Clare wanted to look attractive was somehow wrong. Why? You can cherry pick one verse about inner beauty being more important, but it doesn’t say outer beauty is UNimportant.

  13. The entire time I was reading Clare’s post I felt that something was missing. Mostly because of the extremely high opinion she has of herself. While she is a cute GIRL, and the dress was cute on her, she is not all that. And girls these days dance like strippers and think it’s ok. Grow up Clare.

  14. Although, I no longer live in the Richmond area, I was bothered by the reported prom incident. Several things didn’t ring true. Claire’s comments discriminated herself. She made herself the victim when she made the choice not to adhere to the rules set in place before the event. Her inappropriate dancing and borderline attire screamed for attention. But, when reprimanded, following human nature she quickly pointed the finger at others….those in authority and innocent bystanders. How sad that this young woman is so intent on drawing attention to herself that she would risk damaging the reputation of an honorable group of men and putting a black mark on the home schooling community. Miss Hobbs, an eyewitness, has done an excellent job of accessing and reporting the situation. She is a lovely example of what normally results from a homeschooling family.

  15. Where are the previous replies? Were they deleted and if so was it because they did not agree with this blogger’s points?

      • That’s funny that you say comments haven’t been deleted because one I left less than two hours ago sure has been. I’m not even defending Clare but railing against the inflammatory and sexist language being used in the comments here. Guess that goes against the grain of what people want to believe.

      • Comments have not been deleted, all comments have to be approved.. My inbox has been flooded with tons of comments but I’m working on approving and replying as fast as possible. Thanks for understanding :)

  16. I agree with you, Debbie. Clare, a girl I’ve known for years, is clearly seeking attention. Now you have it, Ms Clare. Facebook postings is now talking about a paypal account set up for Clare’s college fund. Really????? This is absurd. Is Clare now disabled from this “trauma” that she is now asking for contribution towards her college fund???? I know Clare’s parents and all I want to say is for all of us to pray for them. Let us ask God to give them wisdom to deal with this situation. This is not looking good for Clare’s future. Pray people, please.

  17. With all the accusations of “slut” being thrown at Clare, I’m curious to see what appropriate attire is. That’s why the national media thinks the homeschool prom organizers are out of line for kicking her out–this is not an inappropriate dress. And mind you–I am a God-fearing woman saying this.

    But all of these comments about “her dress was too short,” “she danced provocatively,” “she’s too saucy” being thrown around, everyone is missing the point. 1) Fathers (of someone else’s children) do not own women. To tell someone to cover up because they’re giving impure thoughts shows no ownership of your own relationship with God. 2) This modesty culture objectifies women by treating them as shameful beings who are only defined by this horrible, yet irresistible lustful nature. You say that dressing “immodestly” makes her this object–I’ve felt just as objectified and demeaned in the modesty culture as I have anywhere. 3) It’s not even in the Bible that women are supposed to dress like monks to keep men from lusting (which falsely ignores the idea that women too are capable of lust…). 4) Clare’s parents signed off on that dress, that should have been the end of it. That was their parental right.

    Clare didn’t make homeschoolers look bad, homeschoolers made homeschoolers look bad.

    • I didn’t say Clare made homeschoolers look bad, I said this situation did. Also, she stated in her blog that “most homeschoolers choose to homeschool because they are conservative”, perhaps it is true in her area but around me the majority of homeschoolers around me (myself included) are the dance- to-their-own-drum, hippie, alternative type people. All in all, only the loudest of any community unfortunately color the rest of the subculture, which is a shame.

      • I saw a few others saying that, so I wanted to address it. That’s why it’s so important then that people speak up and say that this is not the only part of the homeschooling subculture. And give alternative viewpoints a voice.

    • Rebekah, beauty is wonderful, and the Bible praises it repeatedly, including the beauty of both male and female heroes of Scripture. Nothing wrong with beauty, or with people noticing it.

      And this case? OK, she wanted to look “hot”, got a dress exactly the limited length (violate the rules every time you move!), bought it herself (perhaps to avoid parental approval or disapproval?), knew that her body would look different than other girls’ going in, made a scene when asked to leave, slandered the chaperones by claiming they were “ogling” girls (you can’t tell from 50 feet away, sorry), made copious use of profanity…..and all that by her own testimony, which matches in these regards what those who say they know her were saying.

      To me, this doesn’t sound like a failure of patriarchy, unless you mean that the father apparently failed to address what his daughter admits was a pattern of rebellion on her part.

      And the sponsors and workers at the dance? Well, if indeed 9 people were asked to leave, they had their work cut out keeping things in control, no? To put it mildly, it sounds like more than one child there was deeply in need of a spanking, and the sponsors need to consider either tightening the rules (replace fingertip with knee length and say something about the bodice line, too) or canceling the event altogether.

      • It seems like the readers here can’t decide is she’s a grown woman or a child–a spanking at 17 years old?

        Perhaps the way her parents raised her is a success–rather than to be quietly pushed into a corner and made to cower at antiquated ideas about who is to blame for men sinning (hint: men), she chose to be brave and stand up and say she wouldn’t be judged by the clothes she wears.

    • Clare’s parents were uninvolved. I do not think Clare is a slut, not have I written that anywhere and I will stand up for her against that wherever I see it.

      You say everyone is missing the point, but you, too, are missing the point. The point is, there were rules set, for whatever reason, by authorities for a private event, just like they would be for any public school event. Clare arrived at prom in a dress that was within dress-code regulations, BUT it was so close to being too short that it was checked, at which point she was given the go-ahead but told to keep it pulled down. She approached me as soon as she walked into the gym and called the lady who stopped her a bitch. (For what? Doing her job? Where’s the problem if she was approved?) As the night continued, Clare was seen by students and moms violating rules. Two moms approached Clare and asked her to stop dancing suggestively (according to the rules they set for THEIR event) at which point she became disrespectful. Only then was she asked to leave.

      Not because of some pervy dad, not because anyone felt like controlling her because she’s a girl, not because she looked hot, but because she broke the prom rules, along with eight other kids who were sent home as well. Whatever you’re arguing is not what I’m arguing.

  18. Thank you for posting this. I am extremely glad that blogs were not yet popular when I was the homeschool mom in charge of prom as I had the unpleasant experience of having to talk to girls who were dressed inappropriately (not following the guidelines set forth by the people in charge) or dancing in suggestive manner. There would have been a nasty blog or two written about me for sure. I cant believe anyone would write a story based on one girls blog.

  19. Very well said! Thank you for your courage and your Godliness. God is going to take you far.

  20. The Christian Right is all about power over women.

    Purity culture, modesty culture, and the incredible slug shaming evidenced here come out of a deep desire of men to control and own women and women’s sexuality. Partly out of arrogance and egotism and partly out of shame about their own desires.

    It is clear that Claire was singled out and watched closely from the beginning. The chaperones were looking for any excuse to throw her out, and of course they found one, because they were no longer objective.

    I’m sorry that y’all have bought into the slut shaming and control mentality. When you are a little older you will more clearly see the tools of ownership, oppression, and control these old misogynists employ to control women. The fact that older women socialized in the same oppression support the misogyny doesn’t change it’s nature in the least.

  21. Well said Callie. You are a well educated mature homeschooled student. It takes a mature adult to see past the victim mentality and see when someone needs to take responsibilities for choices they have made. This will reward you well in your future plans. Thank you for speaking truth!

  22. How is this news? A girl was asked to leave prom BIG DEAL. This has nothing to do with Christianity, this is about ONE person’s views of what happened. The organizers had every right to set up and expect adherence to a simple set of rules. Common decency and a stable society require a rule of law and expectations. If they didn’t want to attend this prom they didn’t have to, they could have left respectfully. Other students were asked to leave also, they didn’t try to draw attention to themselves by screaming the victim card. I feel bad for this girl, but for different reasons than you– because she is being used and abused by the media to absolutely slam conservatives, Christians, and any traditionally-minded people. We as a country have drifted so far from any morals or common decency. Teens and pre-teens flaunting themselves on media constantly. It is sad.

  23. “moral ladies have a duty to dress in a way that doesn’t tempt men.” Um, excuse me? This may not be about oohing dads but it isn’t about girls being “temptations” either. We should not be held accountable for the thoughts of men and for tempting them. Women have a right to dress the way we want, no matter what it does to mens penises. They should be mature enough to control their thoughts and if they aren’t, then to control their actions. If not, that does not mean you blame the girl.

    • Should she be able to dance like a slut without consequence as well (even if it directly violates a contract she signed)? Because that’s what this is actually about. I haven’t heard that argumentation from the feminazis yet, and if that’s an argument they’ve taken up as well, I definitely will make an attempt not to discuss anything of import with one ever again. You can’t argue with straight up stupid.

      • Brian I have a hard time taking you seriously when you use terms like “feminazi.” You’re pigeon-holing any woman who dares to have an opinion and wish for the right to do as they please as some militant nut job. Guess what I don’t like to see with men: guys who walk around with their pants hanging off their behinds, guys in public walking down the street or in the store with no shirt on, or worse, anyone (male or female) cursing up a storm at the top of their lungs in public. Despite not liking it, this still happens. So what do I do? I turn my head and just thank God I was raised with common sense. I don’t use that behavior as excuse to subjugate an entire group of people. I may not like their behavior but they have the right to look like fools all they please.

      • I don’t like it either, and I don’t complain about it when people who act like that get kicked out of stores for not following dress code. I applaud the store owners for kicking them out! I don’t want to see guys with their pants around their ankles – that’s stupid and it promotes a culture of prison rape. That’s not a joke, that’s real life. I’m not sure what your point is there.

        If you read what I said earlier, I clarified that feminazi is what I call a feminist who is also, in my opinion, insufferably stupid. Feminists are not all stupid. Some are, though. They’re the feminazis.

        And, fortunately, anyone with an understanding of civil rights and how they operate knows that actually no, those people don’t have the right to look like fools all they please. You can’t go into most restaurants like that. If you do, you’ll be thrown out. Just like Clare was. You just proved my point, thank you.

      • The fact that you used the term “feminazis” completely destroys any validity that your argument may have.

  24. What disappoints me the most about this story (and I’m surprised no one has said this yet) is the response from ADULTS. All of you that are saying she “dressed like a whore and danced like a stripper” should be ashamed of yourselves. This is a 17-year-old child we’re talking about here. Regardless why she was kicked out, what she was wearing, how she was dancing, don’t blame her for your homeschool community getting a bad rep. This slut-shaming and overly conservative response is exactly what society expects of homeschooled people: that you’re a bunch of judgemental prigs. Instead of coming on a blog and throwing around sexist phrases about a child, how about you speak to her parents like a grown-up? This has gone way too far and is immature. The young lady in question was immature for taking her views to a public blog in such a manner (especially since some of her statements are flawed at the least and downright untruthful at the most.) However, that does not excuse the behavior of so-called parents who were there to call her names. Great example you’re setting for your children!

    I’m furthermore disappointed in this idea that we as women are somehow responsible if we are maligned or even assaulted for how we look. Those of you who liken Clare’s dress and manner of dancing to someone drinking around a recovering alcoholic are being nonsensical. That’s like saying that if someone gets raped for wearing a short skirt then it somehow could’ve been prevented had they worn something more “modest.” What about women in the Middle East who are covered from head to toe yet are still raped? How do you explain that? Blaming rape on the victim for dressing immodestly is taking all behavior from the man for thinking impure thoughts and acting on them BY FORCE. Wait, I’m sorry, it appears that some of you feel as though men have no responsibility in this. It’s all the woman’s fault. Which means everything I’ve just said will likely fall on deaf ears.

  25. In reading Claire’s side of the story including the offensive swear words, I come away with the impression that she is a girl who desperately wants attention no matter how she gets it. Her story makes one feel as she had this incident planned from the very beginning. From what she was wearing, she knew that she was going to get men to look. From the photo of the dress included in her account, she only took a shot of the side view. As tight as that dress is, dancing would make the material ride up. One would have to continually be pulling the dress down. Not only is the dress short and tight, but it was shiny as well making Claire only not seen by a blind person. She doesn’t seem naïve in any way…..she knew this especially if she tried it on in the dressing room. All I can say is that Claire obviously will do anything for attention which makes one think if this action can be a very deep seeded problem. I am a homeschool mom who has homeschooled for many years, and I , as one of the other responders reported, have also witnessed that homeschool dads are very protective of their daughters, but no excuse, they are men which Claire seems to fully understand. There has been a new insurgence of homeschool students who do rebel against authority figures , namely Christ as witnessed by this occurrence as well as Claire’s regular use of profanity. It is a shame that young people like Claire and her friends have to premeditate disruptions as this in order to not only get attention, but also willingly corrupt functions while posing themselves as “innocent” and being taken advantage of. The enemy is truly out there as a roaring lion. Let our prayers be that Claire and her friends’ hearts will be touched by the Holy Spirit if it is His will.

  26. I’d be interested to get a list/names of the other 8 and possibly contact info. This isn’t newsworthy in the first place, but if it is, lets have both sides come out.

  27. This young lady’s blog post is more suspect to me than the original “sensationalized” story. She obviously has an agenda, and thus is extremely biased. Maybe her Dad was one of the chaperones. Who knows. But calling the girl who was kicked out a lier and slanderer is just proof. She happened to be at the same dance with 500 other people and somehow she knows every word of every conversation this girl had with the authorities? Because if not, then she is throwing baseless accusations around. Sensationalize much?
    It’s true that news stories are sensationalized to appeal to readers. But looking through that, this story captures something for me (and a whole lot of other Americans) that all you Christian homeschooler types don’t seem to understand. We don’t agree with your values. And seeing them come out in a hurtful, negative way just confirms to me that you are backwards. Everything Clare said about her beliefs in what happened being wrong, and the patriarch attitude being wrong is in line with what mainstream America thinks. I am not trying to be biased against your beliefs and practices. I just am. And the only way I could see eye to eye with this culture and the way it played out at this dance is if this Mrs D lady makes an apology for being a petty, mean spirited person, and attacking Clare. And if the dance authorities also apologize for Mrs D’s behavior and refund all the kids who were kicked out their money. I may not agree with your way of thinking. But can’t we all see when someone singles someone out they personally don’t like and uses their authority and power to get one over on them is just wrong?

    • I have no agenda except to relay what actually happened at MY senior prom. It’s not all about Clare and people need to realize that, including her. I’m not biased at all. I literally don’t care at all about her getting kicked out. People get kicked out of proms all the time, she’s nothing special! My dad was not a chaperone, and neither was my mom. I literally have no ties or connections to the prom except that I attended, knew other students, and knew chaperones. I say she lied, because I talked to people who were chaperones and people who witnessed what took place. Heck, I witnessed it myself! I know that her story is mainly made up, and anybody who was at that prom can attest to it. I don’t know every single word, and if I did, you can bet your bottom dollar that my blog would consist only of quotes. They are not baseless accusations, though, if the people who had the conversations and saw the behavior or the ones making the allegations – I am merely reporting. Sensationalize nothing.
      I know that they’re sensationalized, I talked to a reporter today who readily admitted it. Having different values is fine. If you’re talking about how men shouldn’t ogle at teenage girls, then our values are in line. But men weren’t ogling and that is where I am having a difficult time with this situation. I am not backwards at all. I have the literal truth coming from people who witnessed the situation. And I know Clare personally, I know how she acts. I’m not mad at her or accusing for being a dirty slut and as revenge slandering her name. But when it is many honest people against one girl who has been known to exaggerate and twist the truth, I’m going to fall in line with the many honest people. Nobody is owed a refund, even Clare. In fact, she is lucky she got one. Nobody singled Clare out, eight other students were removed as well. It wasn’t for anything except that she broke the rules, and I’m sorry you fail to see that.

  28. You seem like a very wise high schooler Clare. Too bad the rest of America is lacking in that department.

  29. You seem like a very wise high schooler, too bad the rest of America is lacking in that department.

  30. Where to begin?

    First of all, you all are homeschoolers, right? That being the case, what’s with having a prom?

    Proms are for kids who go to a school, not homeschool kids. I don’t blame you, but what’s with parents who want to have their cake and eat it too? Proms, sports teams, etc, these are amenities/activities/events/enrichments meant to be enjoyed and shared by students who go to the same school. That is their purpose. Your parents don’t want you to go to school, but then turn around and either try to force the local school to include you in their activities, or have make believe, fake events of their own.

    Next, on the homeschool dads. Please. Yeah, they are “protective” of their daughters. That’s what patriarchy is all about, protecting their daughters’ virginity and “purity.” Why, for Pete’s sake, does there need to be a whole balcony full of dad “chaperones” at a prom. A couple of adults should be able to take care of whatever problem might arise, not the parents of every kid, or nearly every kid, that’s there.

    And, let me clue you in, middle aged men DO ogle teenage girls. Particularly when they are all dolled up in dresses, heels and so forth. Part of that is really no big deal Sex drive is what it is, and being attracted, at least superficially, to teenage girls is not really a problem. The problem comes in when a middle aged man actually acts on that desire. Still, there is an in between problematic area, and that does involve ogling/obsessing etc, even if the desire is not actually acted on. And I can well imagine that at least some of the girls at the dance felt that the dads were doing more than just “chaperoning.”

    As for provocation. Again, the whole thing is contradictory. Dancing is, per se, sensual. It can be sexual. It is usually erotic too, to some degree. What a girl thinks is merely innocent “swaying” to the music could well be seen as “hot” and erotic by teenage boys (and the dads too). And that would be enhanced by the short skirt. Of course, a hot girl is no excuse for misbehavior, including ogling. And it also true that most men and teen boys don’t really need much of an occasion to be turned on by an attractive girl or woman. She could be wearing dirty sweats and sneakers, with her hair all limp and unwashed, yet if she looked even remotely similar to Scarlett Johanson, well, most guys are going to have “impure thoughts” if they look at her.

    Which leads to dress code. As mentioned, it sure seems pretty lenient, for homeschooled, born again Christians. Back in the Sixties, a girl was considered uncool if her miniskirt was any longer than the fingertip test. OK, here the fingertip test is the minimum, but still! That is a pretty short darn skirt. As a secular person, I have no problem with it. But one wonders why a homeschool, BA prom would have such “loose” standards. Then there is the issue of whether the girl broke the code, or not. Apparently, she was technically in compliance. That being the case, that should have been the end of it. As far as I can tell, no girls were told that they would be judged on their skirt length when it rode up while dancing. All skirts ride up, to some extent, and if that was to be the basis of the rule, it should have been made clear. A girl should not have been hassled when she was within the rule, no matter how close the margin was, and no matter how much the dress rode up when she danced.

    As for the “dancing like a slut” thing. Meh. Again, you all are Christians. You have problems with that kind of thing. So, it is not surprising that there might be differences of opinion as to what is allowed and what is not.

    My final take on all of it is that I don’t get it. Why do you have proms, when you don’t belong to any school? Why do you allow short skirts, but then quibble about the rules? Why do allow dancing at all, if you are going to then judge, totally subjectively, what is too “erotic” a dance and what isn’t? Why do a whole bunch of dads have to be at the prom? Why would any adult be so naïve as to think that at least some of them are not getting their jollies watching the young girls dance?

    It makes me glad I went to public school, and am a secular person.

    You folks are all mixed up. You have your hangups, but then you try to pretend that you don’t. But your actions speak louder than words. Are girls to be treated as more than sex objects or virgins? As more than little purity vessels or whores? A girl is just a girl. Just like a boy is just a boy. Both boys and girls have sexual thoughts, in their teens, only boys more so. Neither should be treated as pariahs for having those thoughts, nor for inspiring them in the opposite sex. If you are going to have a dance, why not just say that the dress code is the same as it is on the street? And recognize that the boys are going to have “impure” thoughts regardless? And whatever rules you do have should be clear, easy to understand, and capable of objective enforcement.

    • I would like to first thank you for your organized comment, it is much easier to reply to!

      First of all, yes we are homeschoolers, but sometimes kids from other schools attend. I personally invited three of my public school friends last year. To answer your question, “Whats with prom?” Well, whats not with prom? Yeah we’re homeschooled but who says we can’t enjoy a prom? We’re still a schooling community. Nobody has to go, and we don’t have to have prom, but it’s fun, so we do. Nobody is forcing anybody to allow us to play. I personally played competitive varsity volleyball all four years in high school (we beat many private and public schools and won first place in our conference by the way..) For the kids who want to play for college and are that dedicated, they either just go to an actual school or play on club/travel teams, but that’s beside the point. Your comment about “make belief, fake” events is actually pretty humorous. I remember playing make belief mermaid games in the pool, or make belief games with dolls, but I know for a fact that I was never or a mermaid and my dolls were never actually alive. On the other hand, I do distinctly remember being a prom in a real dress, with a real date, in a real building. What exactly is make belief about that? I looked up what prom is and this is what came up – “In the United States, and increasingly in the United Kingdom and Canada, prom (short for promenade)[1] is a semi-formal (black tie) dance or gathering of high school students.”

      SO funny, because the event I went to was, in fact, a black tie gathering of high school students!

      There was not in any way, nor have I seen even one report of every kid’s parents being there. 500 kids. Lets just go crazy and assume every kid has two parents. 500 + 500 = 1,000. That totally didn’t happen. That would be the worst prom ever, who would even go to that? To be perfectly honest, I bet there were about 20-30 chaperones. (I didn’t stop to count)

      I mean, I think grown men being attracted to teenage girls is a problem, I think it’s appalling, but it didn’t happen here. I completely agree with you that the problem is when men act on their sexual drives and desires, but no man spoke of sexual desires and certainly no man acted. I obviously haven’t talked to every girl at prom and asked if they felt ogled at (or however you’d say that). But what I do know is that there were maybe four dads on the balcony, all of whom were busy working with lights and technical aspects of prom.

      I agree with your next point, and I believe that males do have sexualized thoughts regardless of clothes and behavior, in which case females have no control over how they are viewed. But if a girl doesn’t want to be objectified and ogled at, then I feel like the best bet is to cover up. Yeah, it may not protect you from every situation, but it’s stupid to say, “Well men are going to think perverted thoughts about me regardless, so I might as well wear the least amount of clothing possible.”

      Your comment on dress code being lenient for homeschooled, born-again Christians is laughable. You obviously have this stereotype of us. Yes, I know most people view homeschoolers as the denim jumper-wearing, no-shoulder showing, white sneaker kind of people. But let me tell you we’re not. I have dresses that are halfway up my thigh, I wear tank-tops, I wear bikinis, I wear yoga-pants, and short shorts as do TONS of other girls I know. Fingertip length is SO standard for literally everywhere, even regular, every-day high schools.

      In regards to the dress-code thing. When you have a dress code, your attire needs to abide by it at all times. I had a body-con dress (one of those tight little dresses that are SO popular) under my dress because it was sheer. They way you talk about dress code, you make it seem as if I could have walked into prom with my long dress, and then taken it off once I was in the gym, because hey, I adhered when I arrived. Clare was allowed in and told from the beginning to keep her dress pulled down to comply with code. She didn’t, and people saw her underwear. She knew what she was walking into when she arrived. It was a private event and she needed to abide by the rules set by authority.

      I don’t know why you have “dancing like a slut” in quotation marks, because you didn’t take it from my blog. I’m friends with Clare and I wouldn’t call her a slut for wearing what she wanted and dancing how she wanted. If you’re referring to twerking, nobody does that because they’re either white people who don’t wanna look retarded, or they’re black people who know they’d get in trouble. If you’re referring to grinding, grinding is prohibited at public school dances too, so it’s not just because “we’re all Christians.”

      We have proms because they’re fun and there isn’t a reason not to. We go to co-ops, which is like a mini-school where you go to classes a couple of times a week, we play sports, we go to church, we’re a community. There was no quibbling about any rules from anyone except the girl that broke them and got asked to leave. Why dance? That’s a dumb question.. You can dance without being sexual. Shocker. It’s not subjective at all when there is a clear line and boundary. 9 people out of 500 were removed. One girl got mad. Obviously, they’re the only people who didn’t acknowledge the line, and even then I’m sure they could have – they just didn’t care. Dads are at every prom, not just homeschool proms. And you know what, there certainly are men in this sad world that do get “their jollies” from watching young girls. But that is sick and a fierce allegation against these fathers. Do you not have any hope for humanity? Can’t people just do something for their children without being portrayed as “pedophiles” or “nasty?”

      I’m glad you’re content with your education and secular lifestyle. I am also content with mine. I wish that you had a better idea about what the homeschool community actually is, and what we actually stand for. We’re not mixed up, we just see the world from a different lens than you. I hope one day that you will get a more clear perspective about the people you seem so have such a strong opinion about.

      • Callie, you confuse me with one of your statements: you say that guys are going to ogle no matter what a woman does or wears. However, in your next sentence you say that women should still cover up regardless. Okay, so which is it? I’m not justifying dressing “immodestly” because it won’t matter in the long run if some men are just going to be jerks. I just feel that it’s nobody’s business what a woman wears. You may not like that a woman is in a see-thru crop top with a skirt so short you can see her underwear but it’s also none of your concern as it doesn’t affect you. You don’t have to like it, but it’s not up to you or anyone else to pass judgement on a woman or try to mandate what she wears. Now, in a situation where there is a dress code, I will agree with you that more modest clothing is necessary if that was indeed requested of the students. Finally, you say you’re friends with Clare. You might want to make sure she doesn’t read this blog because I don’t think she’ll be very happy with it.

      • Thank you for your reply.

        You seemed to miss my point about proms. Proms, like school sports teams, are about the school. The Such and Such school holds a prom, and the students at that school make up the overwhelming majority of the attendees (with a few students bringing their BR or GF from another school). Proms are school events. But you all don’t go to school. Same with sports teams. If you don’t go to a school, then your “team” does not represent anyone. Unless you play on a real school’s team (which some HS’ers parents demand access to), but then, still, you don’t represent that school.

        Of course, the objection goes deeper than that. Your parents HS you, presumably because they don’t like a school environment. Not just public school, but even private or religious schools are unacceptable, for some reason, to them. But then they, your parents, turn around and want you all to have the very experiences that you would have if you did go to school. Like proms, sports teams, etc. What’s the point, then, of HSing? You can learn English in any school or from your Mom or Dad. But it is proms, sports teams, dances, school plays, etc that make attending a specific school different than being HS’ed. Contradictory!

        My comment on the dress code is not “laughable,” as you yourself said it was among the “least conservative” that you had ever encountered at a HS event. To repeat, the acceptable length was the same length that mini skirts were typically worn to public schools in the Sixties. That is pretty liberal and lenient, especially given that most of the attendees are from BA Christian backgrounds.

        On the other hand, even though the girl in question did comply, there was perceived to be a problem. And that is contradictory as well. No, it is not the same as if she just took her dress off. But, as I said, all dresses and skirts tend to “ride” when you walk and dance, and if the “Code” had been meant to consider that fact, it should have been made clear. A girl, as you know, goes through a lot of trouble dressing and getting ready to go to a prom. It is kinda stupid, and mean, to say to her, once she gets there and does appear to have complied with the rules, “Uh, well, that dress rides up when you walk, and even though we never mentioned it, that is a violation.” What was she supposed to do then? Sew on an inch or two? Or just leave and forfeit her money and good time?

        Much the same with your attitude about men and sexual attraction. You make consider it a problem, but it is only basic biology at work. Men, when they reach age forty or fifty or whatever, are not suddenly neutered. A pretty girl is still a pretty girl, and it is counterproductive and also naïve to not recognize that. The point is, again, not the basic biology, but the behavior. Don’t stare, don’t ogle, don’t obsess. You say the dads did not do so, but the other girl says they did. Certainly, they were at least looking at her closely enough so that they could claim her dancing and dress were provocative. It was the dads who brought this to the attention of the women chaperones.

        But, again, you are all over the map here. On the one hand, you, and the other posters here, make the standard Christian arguments about modesty, but, on the other, you tell me you wear tank tops, bikinis, yoga pants, short shorts, and fingerlength skirts all the time. I have news for you: that isn’t at all “modest.” As you say, that is what teen girls more or less across the board in our society wear. Which, again, is fine by me, but then what is all this talk about modesty and not wanting to cause the boys to think “impure” thoughts? Not to be disrespectful, but what do you think the boys think when they see you and your female friends in your bikinis or short shorts and so on? And, again, if that is how it is, that you all wear fairly sexy clothing all or most of the time, then what is the fuss about skirt length here?

        And the same contradictory stuff is going on with the dancing. Why hold a dance in which the girls can wear short skirts, but then turn around and say that certain kinds of dancing or the fact that a skirt rides up causes the boys to think “impure” thoughts. Again, do you really think their thoughts are all that “pure” when they see a girl dancing ever so slightly less sexily in a skirt that is one or two inches longer?

        As for the dads, I didn’t, and won’t, cast aspersions on any particular man. On the other hand, again, it is naïve to think that none of them were at least mildly appreciative of the attractiveness of the teenage girls, dressed fairly “hotly,” and dancing. To repeat, at least some them were aware of what they considered to be overly sexy behavior on the part of one girl. How would they know that, if they were not watching themselves? Indeed, it would be strange if that were the case. That does not make them “pedophiles” (which, by the way, is an attraction to pre pubescent children, not sixteen or seventeen year olds), or even “nasty,” just normal human males.

        I have no desire to change how you all live, but it seems to me that you haven’t quite figured out yourselves what you want. And that leads to the contradictions I mention.

        Finally, again, I thank you for your response, and your respectful way of conducting the conversation.

  31. Wow. Just . . . wow. The words in the comments here and in Callie’s post establish Clare’s point that Christian modesty culture is demeaning to women.

    We have Brian, who seems to think that a 17-year-old girl showing a little leg is morally equivalent to rape, murder, incest, and bestiality. Holy mackerel, Brian! Really? Maybe . . . get a grip?

    Then Bike Bubba suggests 17-year-old Clare should get a spanking. Hmmm . . . so let me get this straight. Wearing a sparkly mini-dress and swaying to the music (whether suggestively or not) is appalling, overly sexualized behavior, whereas turning a developed young woman over an adult’s knee or over a desk and thrashing her buttocks is a-ok?

    And then we have Callie, who quite accurately summarizes the conservative Christian view on this topic: “Women use clothing and actions to attract men all the time, but as Christians and really just as moral people, ladies have a duty to dress in a way that earns respect and doesn’t tempt men and that is what this entire situation comes down to.” This view leads directly to male control over women’s bodies. Because who gets to decide manner of female dress “earns respect”? Who gets to decide what kind of dress or movement by a woman is overly tempting to men? Oh yeah, MEN get to decide that! And anyone who has lived in the real world can tell you that these male-defined standards can get awfully arbitrary and awfully intrusive (see Bike Bubba’s comment again!) – to the point that often young women (and even some of us older women) are at times shamed for simply existing in public in a female body.

    As for the poor, maligned dads: Clare reports that Mrs. D said the fathers were complaining that her dress might incite impure thoughts in the young men. Kind of sounds like the father WERE making a sexualized assessment of Clare’s dress and her body. And THAT is a classic example of the problem with modesty culture. The pre-occupation with modesty and avoiding lust makes adherents to modesty culture hyper-aware of every centimeter of sin showing and every possibility for impure thoughts. Such an atmosphere is in many ways far more sexualized than a comparable secular space, and certainly results in far greater objectification of women.

    • When I wrote my blog, I admit that I left out my beliefs about people’s duty to guard their own minds. That has now been added. But I still firmly believe that we all have a duty to lessen the burden on the opposite sex by dressing and acting with dignity. I don’t think one person ever decided a certain manner of dress earns respect, but it has been proven that women who are more modestly dressed gain more respect. I don’t mean to confuse the term modest with frumpy. I consider myself modest and I also think I dress pretty darn cute. It has also been proven that people like attractive people, so I’m not say that, to be modest is to be ugly. I believe that modesty is having respect and confidence in yourself.

      Clare claims that dads were talking about her, but in reality it was moms who came to the conclusion about her dress and actions and approached her.

      I’m sorry that you see “modesty culture” as a problem. With the world we are in, I find it refreshing that there are people who still value their bodies enough not to flaunt them for the entire world to see. I also believe that everybody is extra-aware of everybody’s sin but their own, and it’s always been that way. Point out other people’s flaws and turn a blind eye from your own. I can assure you 100% that no woman was objectified at this prom, in fact, Clare was asked to leave so that she wouldn’t be objectified.

      • “I’m sorry that you see ‘modesty culture’ as a problem. With the world we are in, I find it refreshing that there are people who still value their bodies enough not to flaunt them for the entire world to see.”

        And yet you also say:

        “I have dresses that are halfway up my thigh, I wear tank-tops, I wear bikinis, I wear yoga-pants, and short shorts as do TONS of other girls I know. Fingertip length is SO standard for literally everywhere…”

        Again, with all due respect, that is not “modest” in any sense of the word that I know. If you wear bikinis and skirts halfway up your thighs and tank tops and so on, you are, actually, flaunting your body.

        Which is it? Is there a modesty culture here that you and your circle subscribe to, and that Clare violated, or is the case that you and your circle dress pretty much like most teen girls in the USA, which is to say rather immodestly?

  32. “Women use clothing and actions to attract men all the time, but as Christians and really just as moral people, ladies have a duty to dress in a way that earns respect and doesn’t tempt men and that is what this entire situation comes down to. ”

    Then why wasn’t every woman there in a Burqa? Some men are tempted by any woman not in a Burqa. If your morality depends on not tempting anyone by the way you dress, it seems the Burqa would be a requirement. No?

    • I know this is about swim-suits, but Miss Rey’s message throughout the video hits the nail right on the head in terms of what I believe and in terms of why rules were set the way they were set at prom.

      • So then you’d be fine tempting the men turned on by women not in Burqa’s? Even those swimsuit’s in that video would tempt some men. You’d be fine with that if your morality is defined by not tempting someone?

  33. Wow, there is so much hypocrisy that I don’t know where to begin. Was it really necessary to point out “the speck in Clare’s eye”? You wrote an entire blog pointing out the sin in your friend, when you could have reached out to her instead. Can you verify that she was rude? Did you see it yourself? You are basing much of this blog on hearsay, which is the very thing that you say disgusts you. Do you not consider some of the comments on this blog slander against Clare? Do you not consider your own comments about her being “childish” rude? Come on now…

    • It’s not about pointing out a speck in Clare’s eye. It’s about standing up for the truth. I was at prom and I was sitting in the back with my sick boyfriend for a large chunk of the night. So yes, I can verify that she was rude. She called the authorities names right to my face when she walked up to me. I did see it myself. My blog is based off of what people (who were there) saw happen, rather than the news stories who are going off one 17 year-old girl’s ranting post about victimization and horny dads. I’m not sure if you read her blog post about her point of view, but she admits that her actions leaving were childish. So no, I do not consider them rude, just truthful.

  34. Are you sure, Callie, that none of -your- journalism is yellow? Is your heart in the right place? Just curious: How would you feel if you abided by the rules – it’s simple: did the dress meet the requirements or not? “Yes, but…” doesn’t count. – and then got kicked out anyway? Getting kicked out of your last prom would be a pretty big deal. Would you handle it with calm grace? I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t, and I’m three decades beyond 17. Further, I saw no mention of the possibility that it wasn’t, in fact, the men that wanted Clare gone but Mrs. D. If I’m some pervy guy, the last thing I want is for some hottie to leave. Perhaps Mrs. D felt threatened by Clare. I read Clare’s story and it sounds like Mrs. D had it in for Clare from the outset. What’s that? Are you saying that girls wouldn’t turn on each other like that? Why not? Aren’t you, in fact, turning on Clare? What do you get out of this blog? You weren’t privy to the conversation Clare had with Mrs. D, yet you’re defending Mrs. D at Clare’s expense. It could’ve been you, instead of Clare. But here you are, almost gloating that Clare got what she deserved, in your opinion. Perhaps -you- too feel a little threatened by Clare. In which case, maybe you’re right, after all: It’s not the dads that are the problem. Meow.

    • She was kicked out for her lewd behavior. It is absolutely amazing to me how oblivious to that fact people are on this blog. Everyone is so focused on dress, because that’s the hot-topic feminist ticket item. “How a woman dresses has nothing to do with men!!” Fine, dress however. The issue was her behavior. Not her dress.

  35. I agree that maybe her representation of the fathers was incorrect, and that is wrong of her to have said. And i was following you wholeheartedly, because she shouldn’t have blamed men with no guilt at all for her rude behavior. Using a new found feminist culture to help gain sympathy by blaming “horny dads” is unacceptable and completely misusing the feminist movement and what we are striving to achieve. I was following you until you commented about it being her “duty” to dress in a way that “does not tempt men”. No woman has any duty to any man in her clothing choices or actions. Maybe in this instance there was no ogling or inappropriate behavior, but if there had been, it would not have been the fault of the girl dressed in a short dress, but the people acting in an inappropriate manner. She has no duty to any one. And respect has nothing to do with the way she dresses, and if you think that that is the appropriate way to gauge who you do and do not respect in this world, then you should reevaluate your requirements for earned respect.

  36. Brian, I fail to see how I’ve “proven your point.” I made a point that there’s lots of foolishness out there that I personally don’t like yet witness every day and I make a point in not engaging people like that. You’re right that if people walk into establishments and fail to follow certain guidelines then they can be rightly tossed out on their rear ends. That I agree with and wish more places operated within the scope of not allowing people to do things like curse at the top of their lungs around children in Disney World (this is just an example because I’ve witnessed this very thing.) I hope you’re not daring to accuse me of being one of your supposed “femi-nazis” who lack any self-awareness and intelligence. If so, then you have proven MY point (and that of others here) that some Christians really are judgmental hypocrites. If you’re not saying that, then I applaud you on the ability to be able to debate like a mature adult.

    • I am not saying that you are a so called feminazi by any means, nor did I intend to suggest that. If I did, I apologize as that was not my intention.

      My point was that the chaperones at this event were totally within their rights to kick Clare out, because of the dress if they saw fit, and because of her lewd behavior. Much like the people cursing at Disney, no one at that prom wanted to see Clare’s underwear when she danced. That was my point which I think you fairly well proved with your precious comment (and this one). I, also, do not attempt to directly confront people who offend me with their public folly. However, I do applaud the efforts of the chaperones to keep the prom to their standards. Doesn’t matter if those standards change midway through prom. She was given a refund. Doesn’t matter if the standards did change, the fact of the matter is rules were broken (rules that were established from the very beginning about dancing and behavior). When rules are broken there are consequences. And now clare is whining to the national news about her rights and that blasted patriarchy which simultaneously wants to objectify her (gross!) AND kick her out so she won’t be objectified/sexualize herself (inconvenient!). The entire thing is petty and not worthy of a second thought, let alone a national news story. I’m disgusted by the amount of airplay this has gotten, especially for how many bold faced lies are presented directly to the public’s faces.

      • Brian, I get what you’re saying and I agree with you. However, there is one sticking point here and that is the issue of her alleged inappropriate behavior.Just what was she doing? It has been said she was “dancing provocatively” but that is subjective. My idea of provocative dancing versus your idea could be polar opposites. Unless she was bent over in front of her date making her booty clap with her dress up to her ears, I fail to understand their definition of “inappropriate.” In case you’re wondering what it means to make your booty clap, Google it. There’s no way my explaining can do it justice. LOL.

      • Oh, believe me, my imagination works just fine. I agree that “inappropriate dancing” is subjective. I don’t think that any kind of dancing which results in underwear becoming visible where it was not visible before could possibly be considered appropriate, but that could just be me. Well, me and the chaperones who kicked her out for lewd behavior.

      • Also – thank you for being civil. It is much appreciated that, even though we might differ in opinion, a conversation may be had without resorting to name calling and pandering to irrelevant controversial ticket items.

  37. This is all too funny to read! Everyone commenting at first is simple points of views but then you guys turn on each other and why? Because your opinions are different.. If anyone is being childish it’s the people fighting over this. I have read cosmos post about this story and I have read this post about it hell I have even read all of your comments (kinda skimmed threw the ranting about the bible). I am not a Christian and I was never homeschooled yet I have attended prom before for a PUBLIC school. With every event there are guidelines that one must follow. Now if one wasn’t following those, then the people running the event have the right and the authority to take action. Now what this whole thing is about is some girl got kicked out of prom. How many stories are we going to read before we all realize we are being just as ignorant as the girl crying wolf? Everyone wasting their energy posting negative comments just proves how sad this society has gotten! I have watched everyone one pull every card out onto this table (race being the funniest of all!) but none of them have anything to do with the matter. It’s simple really! I know this is crazy but what happened happened and no amount of arguing is going to change it! Mind blowing I know! You guys do realize you’re wasting time on something so silly and juvenile when there are so many other things we could be focusing on! I have this saying that I find very handy in situations like these SHIT HAPPENS! Now you guys can continue to be lesser people and argue about such a childish subject or can start putting this attention to subjects that deserve it, like oh I don’t know maybe the young man who is so excited he got accepted into college! I hear people complain day in and day out about stories like these becoming such a big issue yet I’ve watched multiple people just fueling it. Don’t you think it’s time to stop fueling this teens attention and start fueling rightful causes? Ignorance is only bliss for the one being ignorant but for everyone else, your ignorance is a big pain. Now Callie what you have posted is that of maturity blossoming. Granted you calling this girl your friend leaves one wondering why even bother? Sadly Callie our society doesn’t care much for the truth but only for their opinions and you have witnessed it first hand. Continue being truthful but when you come across a person who wants to break you and the truth down move on! You also are fueling this by giving them the time of day. You have said what you had to say about the matter now leave it at that. Your work here is done just as mine is.

  38. Pingback: Clare and the Homeschool Prom « Rumble and Groan

  39. Thanks for this post. I agree there must have been going on in this situation. I think Clare’s slander of the dad’s is outrageous too. I linked to your post in the one I wrote about this. Hope you get even more readers.

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